GC: TH4T W4S 4N HOUR 4GO! WH4T H4V3 YOU B33N DR34M1NG 4BOUT S1NC3?
CG: I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
christ i’m sorry this is so fucking long it’s 7 am and i’m not touching this anymore, it was just supposed to be a stream of consciousness piece anyway.
funny story this was the comic that finally pushed me over the edge and into reading homestuck
Ugh, actually starting up the personal blog again so that I don’t kill people on my rp blog with shit only a few of them care about. But I has no friends on this blog so sadfaces. Whatever, I do this mostly to talk to myself. Ugh, so I’m skipping class again because I can’t go, I feel like shit, I’m tired, my HS hurts like fucking hell, and I am so behind on work. ugh.
i wAS WEARING MY DIRK COSPLAY AND MY AUNT CAME OVER AN HOUR EARLIER SO SHE DIDNT KNOW WHO I WAS SO I JUST SAID THAT I WAS DATING MYSELF AND NOW SHE LEGIT THINKS IM DATING SOME GUY WITH TRIANGLE SHADES
UPDATE: SHE ASKED MY PARENTS ABOUT IT AND I THINK MY MOM FORGOT ABOUT THAT COSPLAY SO SHE GOT ALL CONFUSED AND STARTED QUESTIONING ME AND MY DAD WAS JUST IN THE BACKGROUND LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF
TRIGGER WARNING: self-harm, suicide
I tweeted a little bit about this this morning but I want to talk about it in longform because it’s an important issue that I feel incredibly strongly about.
You would have had to be living under some kind of proverbial internet rock in order to have missed the recent push to address online abuse. Very high profile people have been bringing forward the torrent of sexually violent and threatening abuse which is leveled daily at anyone who sticks their neck above the online barricade.
At the culmination of it, tragically, a fourteen-year-old girl took her own life last week after being continuously barraged with abuse on Ask.FM, a site where users can create a profile page and then be sent questions/comments on it by other users and anonymous visitors. Her wall was flooded with messages telling her to kill herself, drink bleach, harm herself and that she was worthless, ugly, stupid, awful. The worst things you can imagine being sent to an insecure or anxious teenager (and are there any teenagers who aren’t?) and an environment where it’s easy to draw a correlation between the severity of the abuse sent, the desperation of a young girl and the eventual decision to take her life.
What people are shocked by is the subsequent statistic from Ask.FM’s administrators that much of the abuse she was sent (although by no means all) was sent by her, to herself, anonymously. Some of the worst messages of abuse were from her own IP address (which is the location of your computer on the internet) and were directly traceable.
It’s easy to understand how, to a grieving parent, to many of the people following the story, this seems obscene. A vile accusation by Ask.FM’s administrators to attempt to pass the buck, a terrible thing to level against a girl who was clearly suffering. This is precisely one of the problems with the way we think about the online world and the way that people exist in it. Which is why I am writing this.
I can tell you that teenagers send themselves abusive messages every day. So do older people. Why? Well, because it’s a form of self-harm. And I am going to talk about why that is and what it is, now.
[Because I always want to put this front and centre of my engagement with these issues, I want to reaffirm that as part of my commitment to being part of the Multi-fandom Support Group and also to mothering absolutely everyone whether they want it or not, it is ALWAYS ok for you to message me on here and talk about stuff. My askbox and my fanmail are open and anon is on; you can send me whatever. I’m not a psychologist but I am an ok person for you to talk to if you want to; I have a CRB check to work with children and vulnerable people and I’ve published my real name here so you can verify who I am if you do a quick google. I don’t want to talk about this in isolation or at a distance and I absolutely do not want anyone to think this is judgemental or disconnected from the issues. It’s not. This is me talking about my direct engagement with them.]
Starting an ask/rp blog was my best idea ever. Sempai noticed me~ *bliss*